Chasing After stillness

Photo by Dave Hoefler on Unsplash

My stomach twisted in knots.  Something was wrong.  Concerned, I asked God, “What’s wrong with this opportunity?”

He looked at me quizzically, “You don’t feel right about this?”  I shook my head.  “Then tell me about it.”

Sighing with frustration, I blurted, “Can’t you just tell me?”

He chuckled.  “I’m afraid you need to work this one out.  I’ll help you!”

I let out an exasperated breath. “Fine,” I mumbled.  “The book publishing is coming to an end, so I’m feeling anxious about the next step.  Marketing agencies are reaching out, but they are soooo expensive!  Then everyone has their own input on how to market.  Have a radio program, a podcast, a book launch party, build a social media platform, and don’t forget to keep adding SEO’s for your website.  Then others say that all of that’s not necessary, just network.”  I stopped to catch my breath.  “People also tell me that it’s really hard to do all of this yourself, not to mention all the bookkeeping involved!”  Tears were threatening to spill over, but God sat calmly unfazed by my long list of things to do.

A minute passed before he responded, “Why is all this necessary?”  I looked at him confused. He shrugged, “When I wrote my book, I didn’t have all those things, and look, my book is still being read.”

“But, your book is the BIBLE!”

“Yes, but I have made sure that it has been passed on for generations.  Don’t you think that I am able to market your books?  Didn’t I find the publisher for you and supply the finances for it?”

“Well, yes, and I know that you can market the books, too.  Don’t I need to make the best of every opportunity? I mean didn’t you arrange this connection?”

“Not every opportunity has to be taken at this moment, Daughter.  What is it that you want?” 

I thought long about that question. There was a longing deep within me that I was too afraid to acknowledge.  In a tired voice I responded, “I want peace.  I want to write freely without pressure.  I want to sit with a cup of coffee, a candle flickering, and soft music playing and just talk with you.”

“Do you think you’ll get that if you accept this offer?”

“Not really.  I’ll feel pressured to write and to produce.  I can’t write like that, but if I don’t accept it, how will the books be financed and marketed?”

“Daughter, chase after those things that will bring stillness.  Remember, productivity is not accomplished in busyness; it’s accomplished through quietness with me.  Be still and know that I am God.  It is I who brought the walls of Jericho down using only shouts and rams’ horns.  It is I who parted the Red Sea using only the wind.  It is I that healed the lame, deaf, and blind using their faith.” He paused a moment before continuing, “I’ve been with you throughout this writing journey.  Do you think I’ll abandon you now? You will not even need to fight, just take your position of stillness and I will give you the victory!”

A relieved smile spread across my face.  I had my answer and the peace that comes with it.  

2 Chron 20:17, Ps 46:10