Finding peace in Health Diagnosis with faith

by Kristen Zuray

I looked apprehensively at my Father, “I wasn’t expecting to receive an answer, but I wasn’t expecting this.”

God gave me a compassionate smile.  He reached across the table where we sat having coffee.  Giving my hand a tender squeeze he said, “I know, but I’m here.”

I nodded allowing the silence to envelope the space.  “Seattle, really?  I have to be sent there?  You know how I feel about that place.”

Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash

My mind drifted back to the doctor’s visit the day before.  “I’m seeing the same nerve issues in your leg as in your arm.  This is definitely a neurological thing.”  He looked at me apologetically.  Letting out a sigh, he mumbled, “I have a lot of reading and researching to do.  This is unusual.”

Unusual?  I don’t mind being different or unique.  I mean that’s the crux of my personality tests always questioning the status quo!  But hearing the words unusual and unique from a doctor didn’t give me a sense of pride but rather dread.  After studying the results of the nerve conduction, he swung around on his stool to look at me.  “I need you to go to Seattle to see a neurologist.  There is none in Spokane that would be able to figure out what’s going on.”

Unwilling to let him see how his words affected me, I feigned a casual shrug.  We talked a little more about the steps I needed to take in order to find this special doctor, then he left.  The silence in the room threatened to swallow me.  How am I supposed to be feeling right now?  Do I laugh and shrug it off as nothing?  Do I collapse and cry?  Do I curl up in a ball consumed with fear?  I wasn’t sure what the normal response would be for a person who didn’t receive an answer other than “there might be something serious and hopefully it can be caught in time or there might not be anything serious.”  I felt in limbo, so I shrugged it off.

The next morning I woke with a knot in my stomach.  Life looked and felt different.  Whatever I thought the year was going to be, I realized it wouldn’t be.  Grabbing my coffee, I padded over to the table where my Father sat waiting.

“Thanks for the advance warnings.”  I stated appreciatively.

“So, you noticed?”

“Yes, you told me at Thanksgiving that you were the God of the medical and you had a team of doctors ready.  I didn’t know what you were talking about.  I thought maybe it was the surgery I was going to have the next day for my leg, but at the same time I did feel that it went way far beyond that.”  Taking a careful sip of the hot bitter brew, I thought for a moment, reflecting.  “Then in our quiet times, you kept reminding me to choose peace.  You were preparing me weren’t you?”

God smiled, “Yes, since I know the future, then I work to prepare you for that.  Because you were listening and watching, you picked up on everything that I was saying before you even knew what was coming.”

Sighing, I quietly whispered to my coffee, “I still don’t know what’s coming.”  Feeling God squeeze my hand in encouragement, I raised my eyes with confidence.  “I’m choosing peace.  Whether this journey is a short one or a long one, I’m choosing peace and contentment.  I know you’ll be there for every moment because you promised me, and you always keep your promises!”

Some twists and turns are harder to navigate than others.  In order to receive peace, you have to CHOOSE it.  How do you do this?  You believe in the character of God and the promises of God.  When He says that he works all things together for good, then believe it.  If He promises that He will never abandon you, then believe it.  It’s that simple.  Choose God.  Choose peace.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT) Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Update: Since writing this blog, I have been told that I am fine! 🙂