Faith In The Midst Of Grief

By: Lydia Zuray

Grief—the moment when you lose something to which you have a deep personal and emotional attachment. To me, there are no words that can truly describe the feelings that come with grief, because grief takes on many forms. You can grieve the loss of your future or a dream. You can grieve the loss of someone you love—whether that loss comes through death or the breaking of a relationship. You can grieve the loss of the past, of animals, of a career, or even the loss of your health.

At its core, grief is a defining moment that reveals what you truly loved or desired. So, how do we handle or face grief when it comes knocking at our door?

We’ve all heard that there are five stages of grief.

Photo by Storm Maker on Unsplash

The first stage is denial—this is where the initial loss leaves you in disbelief that it actually occurred. 

The second stage is anger, a natural response to grief. It’s where you feel frustrated and angry at the circumstances that have taken place. 

The third stage is bargaining. In both the secular and Christian world, this is when a person tries to negotiate with a higher power. Within Christianity, I would even say that the bargaining stage is also the questioning stage. You begin to ask God the big question: Why? 

This leads to the fourth stage, depression—when all the emotions begin to settle into your heart and mind. It’s where sadness and a loss of hope arise because it becomes clear that the loss will never change and will forever be a part of your reality. 

Finally, the fifth stage is acceptance—the point at which the loss is acknowledged and understood, allowing you to adapt and move forward in life.

Writing out words on a page to describe the process of grief is easier said than done. There was a time in my life when I faced a very difficult year. I lost a dream for my future, most of my relationships, and a family member to death. I also began losing my health. Overwhelmed by emotions, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I looked at the stages of grief, trying to find a system to pull me out of the pit. Sometimes I would try to tough it out, telling myself everything would be fine—but neither option worked. Nothing seemed to fill the hole that ached in my heart.

But I did find something—or rather, Someone—who would help me on this journey: Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals.

When I look at Job in the Bible, I see his journey of grief. I see him shocked and overwhelmed by emotion. Job tore his sackcloth, an outward expression of grief, anger, sorrow, and distress. Then he entered a time of lament and despair. He even questioned why he was born, reasoning that if he had never lived, he would not feel such pain.

“Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?” (Job 3:11, NIV)

Job began to ask God why—why he was suffering, why he was in pain, why everything seemed against him. In every moment of loss, we all ask this same question.

“If I have sinned, what have I done to you, you who see everything we do? Why have you made me your target? Have I become a burden to you?” (Job 7:20, NIV)

Some people believe that asking God why is wrong or even sinful. But asking God why something painful is happening is not a sin. I believe there is a difference between stomping your feet and throwing a tantrum at God, versus asking Him why from a heart that longs to understand Him. In Job’s story, we see his emotions—his anger and sadness—but when he asks God why, it comes from a desire to know Him more deeply, to draw nearer, not farther away.

At the end of Job’s story, we see that his suffering and grief produced a deeper faith. He

grew closer to God. God revealed more of Himself—His power, His comfort, and His sufficient grace in all moments.

“My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.” (Job 42:5, NIV)

So, when grief comes knocking, we must allow our hearts and minds to feel everything that comes with it. But most importantly, we must draw near to God. In our moments of distress, the Lord is always near. He will reveal Himself to you in ways you could never imagine.

If you are walking through grief right now, reach out to us at The Adi Project. We would love to walk beside you during this time.